The Feel Good series
Increased confidence, self-care, and mindfulness? Yes please! Our ‘feel good’ blog series is about caring for skin beyond the creams and serums – its about all the other things you can do in your life to improve your skin health, your mental health and your overall sense of well-being, to complement whatever skincare regime you’re investing in and goals you have set for yourself.
Don't fight ageing
For many of us, ageing is less of a process, and more of an obsession.It’s something we think about when we glance at ourselves in the mirror, when we catch sight of our changing hands, when we get invited to or prepare for a special night out.
Though we have a lot more important obligations and priorities, ageing, and how to deal with its effects on our appearance and our lifestyle, is on the minds of many - much more often than we would like it to be.
And why wouldn’t this be the case?
The narrative about ageing, and how we should avoid it or embrace it, surrounds us all day, every day (the irony of this article isn’t lost on us!).
The world is obsessed with ageing – so it makes sense that we are too!
But being obsessed can have a big affect effect on our mental health and how we feel about ourselves. It can affect our confidence, our behaviour, our focus and will definitely lead us further away from that wholistic ‘feel-good’ state many of us are eternally trying to achieve.
So, how do we overcome the obsession and start to have a healthier relationship with our ageing selves?
Are you obsessed with ageing?
Firstly, we have to understand the difference between ‘obsession’ and a reasonable or healthy amount of time thinking about or focusing on something. Of course, this really depends on the person, how it affects you and the rest of your life, and what it is you are thinking about.Oxford languages defines being ‘obsessed’ as being ‘preoccupied or filling the mind continually and to a troubling extent’, and secondarily, as, ‘constantly talking or thinking about something’.
The definition itself is a good guide against which to start exploring the depth of your thoughts about ageing –
Does ageing fill your mind a lot or all of the time?
Is thinking about it troubling?
Does thinking about it and focusing on it get in the way of focusing on other things?
Do you talk about it a lot?
If you’ve answered yes to most of these questions (and you don’t work in skincare!), you may be a little more fixated on ageing than is healthy, and this might not be great for your mental health.
‘Ageing anxiety’ is actually increasingly common, especially among women, and if your fixation is making you anxious, your best bet is to book an appointment with your GP. Your doctor may help you fill out a mental health plan and have a chat to a professional about how you can put ageing into the place and position it should be in your life, rather than have it constantly clouding your vision.
According to ‘The Gateway Institute’ and ‘treatmyocd.com’, obsessing about ageing can also be a sign of Health Concern OCD.
In this case, someone may worry excessively about physical changes, the actual ageing process, mental changes or death. They may think a lot about their changing appearance and what others think of them, if they look older than they are, and what might happen in the future.
As a result of these ‘worries’ the person may then experience ‘compulsions’ to do things they feel will help them decrease that worry. Both the worry and the compulsions are intrusive and can significantly impact their every day lives.
And while so many of us casually throw around phrases like, ‘Oh it’s just my OCD’ as we absent-mindedly line up the remotes, in actual fact, OCD should be diagnosed by a mental health professional.
Again, this begins with a simple and safe meeting with your GP to start work on a mental health plan.
Even if you don’t have ‘Ageing Anxiety’ or OCD, continuously thinking about ageing, worrying about it, comparing yourself to others and fretting about every new line, can be absolutely exhausting, and it’s important you find ways to reduce those thoughts so you can feel better.
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Reclassify and reprioritise ageing
A big step in the right direction is giving more conscious thought to how you prioritise the different parts of your life, and then reclassifying ageing, so it sits where it should – which is not at the top of the list.Rationalise this as much as possible – think about what is more important than ageing, why, what joy it brings to you or others, and so on. In contrast, then consider why ageing can be a positive rather than a negative, and signifies a celebration of milestones.
In addition, mindfulness can also be a really powerful tool to help you ‘retrain’ your brain.
Health Direct says mindfulness is a mental state within which you focus on the present and what you are doing right now, without letting your mind wonder, and without judgement or distraction.
Sounds tough, huh?
Honestly, it is. But once you get the hang of mindfulness, it can be incredibly rewarding, not just in managing your ageing obsession, but in so many other parts of your life.
How can we turn mindfulness into a habit?
Some simple ways to turn mindfulness into a habit can include journalling, taking mini breaks through the day and slowly untensing one muscle at a time so you are aware of your entire self, or trying to only do one thing at a time.Something as easy as brushing your teeth can be a mindfulness activity – focusing on the act of brushing, without worrying what your teeth look like or your posture or what will happen at work tomorrow, can help slowly get you into the habit.
And every moment you spend being mindful, being focused on the here and now, is a moment you don’t spend thinking about ageing.
To assist mindfulness and reclassification, taking a rest from stimulating channels like social media can also be a big help – especially since they are often also very focused on messages about how we look.
Controlling the Controllable.
Getting back to journalling, a useful exercise can be acknowledging the things you can’t control and learning to leave them on the paper you write them on, then working through the things you can control.
The fact is, even with millions of dollars, you will still age. Look at Joan Rivers, Liza or the phenomenal Dolly Parton, hard as they may have tried, they couldn’t keep the years at bay.
Having healthy skin is something we can control, having skin clear of sun damage is something we can control, having soft and glowing skin is something we can control, as is reducing fine lines.
Completely stopping the clock – not reality.
When it comes to ageing and your skin, control what you are able to, and leave the rest to Mother Nature, she knows what she’s doing!
Celebrate the victories
The ’27 club’ is the nickname of an unofficial club of beautiful, young and talented people who all passed away at the age of 27. It includes people like Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix.Just like the families and friends of those people in the ’27 club’, many of us have suffered or witnessed a similar tragedy.
While no one should be judged for how they approach managing the ageing process, whether that’s by doing nothing, using evidence-based skincare, or investing in injectables – every choice is valid and acceptable – we should all be able to celebrate the fact that ageing is actually a victory.
Every extra candle on the cake, every year added to the last, is time with friends and family, and time is the absolute most precious thing we have.
Keeping a list of the ‘victories’ of the week, and a special ‘title page’ of the growing list of major ‘victories’ in our lives can remind us exactly why we might have smile lines around our eyes or mouth, and how special they really are.
Jamie Lee Curtis, an absolute beauty, who won her first oscar in 2023 describes herself as ‘pro-ageing’, she says: “This word 'anti-aging' has to be struck. I am pro-aging. I want to age with intelligence, and grace, and dignity, and verve, and energy.”
Taking Jamie’s advice on board, perhaps it’s time to stop fighting ageing and welcome it in our own way, on our own terms, through our own valid choices, and instead, fight our obsession so we can enjoy life more.
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At Re-Dox, our skincare products are minimalist, made to fit into your life while being evidence-based and effective. We believe skin of any age is beautiful and we create products designed to empower women and men with true skin health.
